50 reasons a Bong girl will not marry you

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I have been asked times and again if marrying a bong girl is a good idea. Yet Others have declared they are genuinely scared of marrying one given how fiery they are. The implication always has been that the choice of whether or not you should marry a bong girl is yours. It isn’t really. Bong girls don’t make anyone make choices for them and gives as much importance to your opinion as to her pet cat maybe less. So before you ask a bong girl’s hand in marriage, know all the reasons why she will not marry you

 

  1. She is too hot for you – all that kancha lanka and the sorsher tel. She is hot and fiery and most men pale in comparison
  2. You don’t compare to her father – Know the father was one of the rare men who could convince a bong woman to marry him. So he is a dude. And you may not just measure up
  3. You think slower than she speaks – A bong girl beats any Chennai express hollow. You will be left fishing for words or thoughts
  4. You failed the fish market test – Every bong girl or atleast your bong in laws will make you undergo the fish market test. Stand an hour in a fish market without fainting. Did you survive? No? Side please
  5. You have the musical talent of a WWF wrestler – Your musical talent is almost close to zero. You cannot even feign playing a guitar. No you cannot get tied to her strings.
  6. You look like a WWF wrestler – beefy and muscular? The bong girl will conclude you have muscles in your head. Hide the muscles if you have to impress her
  7. Your hobby is boxing – Told you she isn’t the one who falls for brawns. You do not have  a creative hobby. You are better in the boxing ring not with the wedding ring
  8. You cannot write poetry in praise of her beautiful eyes – Anything even Vogon poetry can save you. No? Wrong place, man
  9. You do not know rui from katla – the twin Bengali fish and they look deliberately similar to get rid of unwanted suitors like you!
  10. You disagree with her – remember she always has to win the argument. You disagree with her? You are lucky if you escape only with your wedding hopes dashed
  11. You agree with her – remember she doesn’t like wimps. So if you are agreeing with everything she says she will walk over you and then leave disgusted
  12. You neither agree, nor disagree with her – She hates ambivalence. So you do not stand a chance
  13. You wear mufflers and monkey caps – Tell tale signs of being a mommas boy – she will reject you outright
  14. You wear short Tees and transparent shirts – As bad. She would tick you off about your sense of fashion
  15. You cannot pleat a tant saree – Take a crash course in folding and pleating  a tant saree even before you go anywhere near her
  16. You cannot pronounce rasogollas stressing all the o’s – Remember it is rashogolla. Add one or two more h. Speak reverently. Your life depends on it.
  17. You do not think luchi, begun bhaja are the best thing to happen after electricity
  18. You did not ace atleast one of Literature or Mathematics – What are you? A Imagemoron?
  19. You do not get excited by ‘A brief history of time’ and say Stephen everytime she says Hawking
  20. You do not know your Rabindrasangeet from Nazrulgeeti – If you are mixing up the bards, you are better off dead
  21. You say a word out of place about her mother – Remember Bengali moms bring their daughters up to be tigresses like themselves. Anything you say against her mother is are a reflection on her. Beware
  22. Your literary skills are limited to the grocer list – Buy a dictionary and start learning new words. You otherwise stand no chance
  23. You do not know how to cook – A bong girl will expect you to know how to cook and clean. You think these are things that wives do – well we are with her if she beats you up with the nearest detachable object
  24. You have perfect vision – The bong girl will look at you with suspicion – you must have not read enough books to impress her. Try squinting.
  25. You have not read the work of atleast one author whose name you cannot pronounce
  26. You cannot distinguish between ghotis and bangals
  27. You think Mohun Bagan and East Bengal are equally awesome – Man, you have to take a stand!
  28. You do not know your varieties of Illish – issh! Go learn pisciculture.
  29. You flaunt your big car – She shuns ostentation. But she can get on a bike with you and sing Ei poth Jodi na sesh hoye
  30. You cannot stand someone singing down your neck – If you are out on a two wheeler she will always sing. And the same song. Get the ear plugs but don’t stop her.
  31. You do not know the answer to ‘ Kamon hobe tumi boloto?’ – Loosely translated this means – What will happen darling. The answer is not giving an answer but say – Tumi bolo. And let this go into an infinite loop
  32. You do not know the exact meaning of nyaka – No word in any other language conveys what a nyaka is. I wouldn’t even try explaining it – believe me it will take months of perseverance to know what is nyaka and what is not
  33. You do not let her call all your female cousins and girl friends naka
  34. You cannot stand sorsher tel and say it is as bad as nariyel tel
  35. You think cricket is cooler than football  – Yes maybe for the period dada played. Never before. Never after
  36. You think a Punjab ki kudi is hotter – remember they are her strict competition. The good natured bong will give you a good lecture about the bong supremacy. The only punjabis she can stand are the sardar taxiwallas who drive the mammoth Ambassador taxis on Kolkata roads.
  37. You say a word about dada – Praise or blame – don’t try either
  38. You cannot eat ‘fuchkas’(golgappas for the uninitiated) – at 10 a minute
  39. You are not ok with tattoos, thick kohl and eccentric glasses- Her sense of style is bizarre. Live with it
  40. Your hero isnot Sheldon Cooper – Love Sheldon Cooper, Get under his skin. Watch  Big Bang Theory back to front, front to back. Those geeks are her heroes
  41. She talks about rockets and you think Diwali – For her rocket is rocket science. She likes Diwali rockets too but that takes a second place
  42. You do not have a conspiracy theory view of Tintin – So you think Tintin is a funny comics and not a political satire. I feel sorry for you, you stand no chance
  43. You cannot sit through an opera or a dance drama without falling asleep
  44. You do not have a sense of humour
  45. You do not think huge red bindis are cool – Yes they hide half her forehead but you have to live with itImage
  46. You cannot beat her brother at chess or atleast scrabble – This is the Bengali equivalent of a rajputana duel. Beat her brother at chess. She is all yours.
  47. You revolt at being called – Ki mishti  chele – You are not in unless all her masis and pishis have pronounced you as mishti
  48. You have not made one pilgrimage tour to Shantineiketan – or if she is the sporty type to that one house in Behala where dada lives
  49. You cannot do the Dhunichi- the dance with the smouldering pots during Durga  without coughing yourself to death
  50. She is a witch in disguise- only a wizard will do for her – She is magical, she is fiery and she is unpredictable. Only some men measure up to her. The rare ones. The wizards

 

 

 

 

 

 

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444 responses »

  1. I’ve never been personally been around a Bong lady but then I can guess how it feels to be around one now. Really well written, Its cheeky, witty, hilarious In places, Making it a must share.
    Looking forward to read more miss..

  2. Atleast not FUCKS like u…first learn to contain ur sambhar to ur wrists only and not to the elbows, then think abt marriage..

    • @Tamil Brains: Rightly said. Brainy tamil people would not want to marry a bong. @Bong Banger: All the three Nobel prizes for science which India can boast about are due to Tamil brains.

      • @TamBram: I am not a bong .Bongs may have not got nobel prize in science. But they have produced equally capable scientists. Ex- S.N. Bose, J.C. Bose, Megh Nad Saha. Also Amartya Sen(Nobel Prie in economics, though not in Science). And you are wrong “All the three Nobel prizes for science which India can boast about are due to Tamil brains”. Because you forgot Har Govind Khurana( Nobel for Medicine), a Punjabi. Also numerous reformers and revolutionaries came from Bengal.Ex- Rabindranath tagore(Nobel Laureate), RajaRam Mohan Roy ,Swami Vivekanand etc

    • Why both of you? Read between the lines and find who have broken the sanity, just to get a fitting reply. Why should somebody remain silent on being abused?

    • tamil got trolled by bengali… ayo swami… pooooooooo…….. come and have some rosoggolla.. with big O… :D atithi debo vaba :D

    • @GlobalCrap Culture bashing in the right sense! We can bash our countrymen and women and expect the same for us and still get away with it. Cultural diversity? Bollocks! We love and hate and yet still love this unmanageable, bumbling, crazy, beautiful home called India!

      • @Indian apparently you missed the sarcasm (as did everyone) in my comment. Guess I wasn’t at all concise in it. Both those two comments, esp. Bong Banger represented the typical racist behaviour I hear so much about. Am I clear now?

    • dnt wanna marry a bong? huh! so u wanna just leave out ur chances f marrying some1 like Kajol, or Rani Mukherjee or Raima Sen… oh i frgot nt evn Sushmita Sen.. too bad man! :/

      and no offence .. from my experiences f tamil marriages (i do have a bunch f tamil friends)- i believe dowry is (quoting 1 such frnd) an integral part f those- a tradition i believe .. shes probably gonna bang your head into the wall even if you spell that word!

  3. Lol..I’m a bong girl but reading this makes me feel that I don’t have a lot of Bong girl traits! I lived in West Bengal my entire life except the last 2 years. My boyfriend, on the other hand, is a Bong but a non-resident of WB but he knows our traditions better than I do! *ashamed* But, at the end of the day, I’m proud to be a Bengali and yeah, maybe not all, but I conform to most of the above! :D

  4. very well written… although I can’t relate to some points, most of them hold true… especially the cooking one… ;) Loved your post!

  5. Ha… There goes! Another covert attack on the worthiness (or lack of it) of Bong (or other wise) men, carefully camouflaged by satire. But then, as far as the observations go, I must admit I AM MIGHTY IMPRESSED. Kudos!

  6. ami banglar oiyparer chele.. almost a bong guy. sorshor ilish and begun bhaja makes up my moments. true points hit wid those 50 reasons. even i dont know how to present myself before my girlfriend’s dad.
    and thanking you for the guidelines.

  7. Most of the points are baseless as per my knowledge …….
    1) Most of the point has been elaborated …. again converted to points …. Idiotic job
    2)compared with WWE/WWF ….. who quoted this point … may his wife is kusti champion/ he is weak person physically … I mean Jhatu life leader/ may be non-bengoli has done is work
    3) I saw many bengoli male …. they are hopeless …i.e, incapable of decision making ….. therefore women play their role to get better result.
    4) actually they are too frank ….
    5)Didn’t even mention nicely … they cook very well.

    many thing is to mention but I m not in mood…..

    Just to remind you … we got well culture , well educated basically focus on job.We are not orthodox nor do support castism . We belive in modernity.
    Live & let Live.
    Jai Hind

    • I accept that you have a well culture and that I am an idiot.and that bengoli women are too frank. It is all because you blive in modernity that I am still making a living. :)

    • ABSOLUTELY!
      First of all this word “Bong”, just hate this word just I hate to hear “Gujjus”.
      Frankly speaking the same old story with a stinck of racism well camouflaged with satire, as seen in most of the Hindi films produced and directed by people from Hindi circle.
      Except the Bengalees where do India stand? In movies, in literature, in the que of Noble Laureates, from freedom struggle through bolywood music to modern Indian Cricket Team; you just can’t escape!
      Except Bengal you don’t find modern India.

      • Cool down Bhai, these Bong, Panju, Gujju… etc are purely ‘daak naams’ (nicknames) wrapped with love. Punjabis routinely call their loved ones “Badmas” or “Khota” etc. that doesn’t sound bad at all. I suggest you make more non-Benagli friends and you’ll see the kaleidoscope of goodness

    • Orthodox – this part is there in blood with every banGAAALI… they only stick around with another banGAALI.. and that’s a fact.
      And, Culture – WHF.. they don’t even know how to behave with other communities people in society.

      • Really you north Indians know how to behave properly. Actually the problem is that you have got brains in your knees not in your head. Get a life and move on!!!

    • the thing is there you consider a well cultured girl to mean a girl who does not speak her mind and puts up with nonsense your well cultured males deem perfect. It is because of your belief in modernity that you took this article written in good humor so hard to your heart and raised a hoolah about it. Congratulations! :)

  8. So, I’m a Bong, and I DO BELIEVE all of those written above are very, very true. Now I look at myself, and start analyzing : Why on earth a Bong Girl won’t marry me?

    Reasons :

    7. Can’t differentiate between RUI and KATLA. Period.
    6. Chess………? Erm, well…..
    5. Can’t cook. (Trying to learn, though – mostly for my own survival)
    4. Brief History of Time makes me cry. CRY.
    3. I DO look like a WWE Wrestler.
    2. I think slower than almost everyone in the world speaks. (That’s the reason behind me watching “Sherlock” using subtitles. And multiple times.)

    And

    1. THEY ARE ALL GOD DARN WITCHES IN DISGUISE!!! (better than Hermione, I meant.)

    About the writing : Thanks for guiding us through the, erm, you-know-what.

  9. I am quite mentally pressurized to ask… why??…a regular bong girl, is simple as she gets doesn’t require all this long list of to-do’s to impress or probably get her hand in marriage…and mostly the read is entertaining in itself not some rules or regulations or any detailed specs on bong culture…Good Job Miss Rimjhim Ray… :) (y)

    • Please follow the following steps to live a less stressed ( I mean “pressurized”) life:
      1) read the blog again
      2) laugh at the humor
      3) close the chapter and continue with your life if you want to
      4) appreciate the author on her wit and sense of humor (you can’t really expect she believes these points she penned down herself do you? I mean, come on! Seriously?)
      5) Marry whomsoever you feel like! This is a free country! Whether you marry a Bong or not is in up to your fate so don’t congratulate yourself or berate yourself for your choices. Neither should you force your choices down someone else’s throat.
      6) read my point I penned down here and decide for yourself of your free will what you want to do about this.

  10. Reminded me of my days away from Bengal. OMG your words are so true Rimjhim. They DO think that bong girls with smudged kohl and khadi kurta know some black magic!! What a jerk!!

  11. Amazinggg Especially the 21st Point! Although i m an NRB (Non-Resident Bong) Still i cud connect to much of the points written above! Bong women are “sweetly dominating” hahaha! Prond Bengali Woman ;) n very well written! way to go ! (y) :)

  12. my wife s a typical bong beauty …..but i got her and managed to convince her to marry me inspite of me being a typical non bengali …….and both of us r happy ……so we both deserve nobel prize for this rare feat ….

  13. Well if thats the case its better to avoid the issue altogether…. Why should a guy make himself “exam ready” and then take up the post-marriage blues ?? Better avoid marriage altogether…….. guys can always remain independent and peaceful…..

  14. To all the people who are complaining that this isn’t accurate, why are you even taking it seriously!!? It’s categorized under ‘humor’ man, take it lightly. This is supposed to be funny and not a 101 on Bong women.

  15. An awesome read ….. a lot of this applies to Bong boys as welll ( including yours truly ) …..And I can proudly say that I have managed to teach three Punjabis the difference between the sad excuse of a puri from the delightful soft luchis and now they just can’t get enough of luchi with cholar dal and kosha mangsho ( and yes they pronounce it Rashogolla or I don’t let them have any ) ! :-P

  16. Ha ha. This really cracked me up; and I must say some observation, kudos!!! Being a bong myself I can relate to each of the idiosyncrasies described. And that’s why the challenge is worthwhile – after all is said and done the reward is awesome.

  17. Actually, Punjabi guys match up to bongs :-). I dated a bong girl and was daring enough to tell her father that we would date, whatever be it. If bong girls like brains, I know their fathers like chivalry. And if their father likes you, the girls like you!

  18. enjoyed reading this-highly entertaining and quite insightful in bits and pieces. Knowing a bong guy- can vouch that much of this works the other way as well-Maa is everything, visit to shantiniktetan, knowing the diff between rabindra sangeet….hilarious but so sweet. there can be no one like bongs!! loved the humor and

  19. Yes I’m a bong.. But surely not all of it. But i never stop glorifying Bengalis.
    You forgot about the role of bongs in Indian independence and politics in the country. :p
    badly bangali…

  20. Pingback: 50 reasons a Bong girl will not marry you | colours of life ......

  21. Awesome ! Being a fiery Bong :p I can relate to many points. Though I myself don’t know the difference between Rui and Katla and am yet to go near a fish market I will make sure my suitors pass through all the above mentioned criteria to be THE worthy one ;)

  22. Hi,
    I m a bong but because of this traits in a girl i hate bong gals..it gives me goosebumps that one day my mom will bring a typical bong gal lik u described for me.i dont want to marry a bong if i have a option..hope that i can convince my parent for getting a nonbong gal who luvs fish :P :P..i dont want all this traits in her..i m a bong and i luv fish :P :P..and i m proud of being a bong….

  23. Im not a bong gal bt im a resident of WB., bengali culture is the most enriched culture among all the othr states..bong parents doesnt look howmuch a man is earning to give thre daghtrs hand fr marrige rathr thy go by da qualificatin he is holding. Thy also dnt belive in dowry system which mostly other states belives in..a bong gal vry easily gets married coz bengalis dnt have ne demands thy look fr simple gal nd can also take a stand. Bong gals r not burnt fr dowry rathr thy r treated as da most respectabl persn. Yes bong gals r not fools,thy knw wht is wrong or right. U cn take hr as a guide of life. Yes thy dnt spend hrs in doin makeup sittin in front of a mirror..rathr thy would prefr to read a novel..bong believes in simple living and high thinking ths is wht I feel aftr spending 25 years wid thm. Thre attitude depends on da way u treat her, if u r good to her thn she ll be best to u..lucky would be the person who ll marry a bong trust me..And the reasns posted about not to marry a bongs sounds humourous bt thse r not factual..evn bong gal cn have 1000 reasns nt to marry a moron guy..

  24. What a great piece of writing Rimjhim, though I have never lived in Bongland the genetic material seems strong!! I can relate to many of your points!! I guess the Bong girl is more about eugenics than euthenics!!

  25. Really well written! I guess I’m one of those lucky few non-Bongs to have somehow managed to tick most boxes (I’m rubbish with fish though..) and I’m now with the most amazing Bong girl. Ever. So, this list is pretty damned true! Great observation! :)

  26. Im a bong , i have dated a punjabi guy for a year and yes i cud totally relate how they actually get scared of our fieriness at some point !

  27. i can’ stand alone this much naykamo..its better to walk an extra mile alone rather considering this much of ”her” tantrums ..

  28. MR .Tamil brain , i hope to see you in north India soon.
    and i am sure we can chalk out some good jokes on the Tamils.

  29. With all due respect to other cultures i believe bong or say bengali women or girls are more outspoken and dominating over girls of other rationals. They are stern in their belief and modesty. They grow up in such an envo where the distinction between rational and irrational thoughts are cleared. They have voice of their own and make a platform for themselves. Marriage as for example is an option to them not laid out duty by their parents. And if you research on our Indian culture % of Bengali educated women is much more compared to any other cultures.

  30. Hello, Mrs.Rimjhim….. Nice to read your article….I left Kolkata 7 years back, staying in Mumbai…….Its very well portrayed…as I have friends from both Punjab and W. Bengal, I can feel the difference. But bong girls are not that much “Teekha” as you have projected….Yes, all these attributes, they really have in their skin, subjected to situations. However, irrespective of everything I enjoyed reading your views. Thumbs Up…!!!

  31. i have lived my life in Calcutta and Punjab almost equally so while i agree upon the kancha lanka/ fiery at times bong sport, can’t let go of the punjabi tadka as well.
    smart and well written with a humorous touch

  32. Well Said Rimjhim !!
    Now my Bong Girlfriend have seen this … I am gone … feeling insecure :(

    I couldnt resist myself posting in this thread :)

    Bong girls are sweetheart Bosses really, sweetly talented, they hv a lot of hidden passion and courage, they have the sweetest anger and above all they are the best in their sweetest form of “Abhiman”.

    You just have to be with Her, she will take you through.

    ————– This was from my experience ————– Best of luck Non-Bong Guys !!

  33. Well, totally changed my perspective of how I thinkn of Bong Girls… Wanna makes me go back to my city of joy and marry a bong girl… ( I hope I dnt regret this statement :P )

  34. “…… Only some men measure up to her. The rare ones. The wizards”…… Loved the ending, i am a Bong too…. And i want a Wizard !!

    Rimjhim, Ei write up ta pode khub bhalo laglo, good job :)

  35. Thank you Rimjhim for this extraordinary post for its sheer credibility punched with so much of enjoyable sarcasm. My daughter, who is almost thrice younger in age than myself, and I, both of us relate to most of your 50 points. All these points that affirm the true characteristics of a mature Bengali girl have had a long history of evolution (consider Rajnandini Chitrangada of Manipur that at that time was a constituent part of the Bengal region, down to all the agni-kanyas af the 19th and 20th centuries’ Bengal (undivided as well as divided) who came out right into the open arena in the amphitheatre of life, but also all those who kindle and augment the latent fires in the women of their families from within the cloisters and refuges of their homes.

  36. To add to the list:
    1. One must have achievements like finding restaurants serving illish maach in Norway – suggesting ‘where-ever this guy goes, illish maach follows’
    2. Regular pilgrimages to Sikkim and Darjeeling is a must
    3. An unhealthy affection to bengal-ized(?) ‘chinese’ food
    4. Ability to detect amounts of ‘moida’ in ‘chanabodas’ to the order of micro-grams
    5. Ability to pronounce every word in every language after adding sufficient number of O’s, thus instantly incorporating them into Bengali
    6. Having the experience of discussing momota didi’s politicaaal moves while sitting on dhaapis drinking 200 cups of chaa
    7. Being born with a navy cut in one’s hand
    8. Must never forget to say ‘aaahaha kii shundor gola’ on hearing some random guy sing robindro-shongit in Robindro shodon metro station
    9. Have an assorted collection of ‘maach-er bajaar-er jonno’ jholaas

    Man, the list of idiosyncrasies is actually never-ending! BTW, thanks for the entertaining article :D

  37. Just AWESOME……….. absolutely hillarious…… and in most cases true….. gonna be a blast on bong forums.. please keep more posts like this coming…. will keep checking ur posts… :-)

  38. Rimjhim,
    Please refrain from the use of the word bong ..its derogatory to your own community and marijuana smokers alike!

  39. So I saw this blog post shared multiple times on the social media. Interesting read, but I can certainly see the Forer effect at play since these things can be easily tweaked to suit women of any ethnicity. However that’s not the point. I felt it was quite a leap of logic when you jumped from “I have been asked times and again if marrying a bong girl is a good idea. Yet Others have declared they are genuinely scared of marrying one given how fiery they are” to “The implication always has been that the choice of whether or not you should marry a bong girl is yours”. I find it hard to imagine a non-misogynistic guy at least would have that idea when he is contemplating he should marry a bong woman. It would more likely be an innocent inquiry without any veiled intention of forcefully marrying a bong girl against her wishes. There goes the premise, which brings to the 50 point checklist.

    Most bong women can’t handle kacha lanka and shorsher tel.

    The ‘Chennai express’ jab(as much as I hate the movie) might be taking it a bit too far.

    Find me a sizable sample of modern bong girls who can stand with me at the New Market fish bazaar, I have done it myself.

    It’s WWE, not WWF.

    If being able to fold a Taant-er sharee was such a desirable trait, Gariahat traders would be the most eligible suitors.

    “You do not think luchi, begun bhaja are the best thing to happen after electricity”-He just might have allergies.

    “You did not ace atleast one of Literature or Mathematics – What are you? A moron?” -He might just be knock you over with chemistry.(Breaking Bad represent!)

    Cars are safer than bikes.

    Jab at Punjab, not nice, not nice.

    If TBBT is your benchmark for geekiness, you need to step up your game. I love the show too, by the way, for the laughs.

    I believe it’s “Dhunuchi”, not “Dhunichi”.

    Not trying to come across as a chauvinistic prick here, but do not judge a person by a set of rules. Marriage is way too overrated anyway.

    Regards from a not-so-ideal-bong chhele.

    • Thank you for succinctly putting what I was thinking exactly.
      From Bong-Girl-who-is-nothing-like-above-description-and-has-never-met-anyone-fitting-above-description.

    • Being a Bong girl, the piece did not make me very happy. I agree to you Rudraksh, the world, including Bong women have moved a long way ahead of the ‘Bong-girl’ persona potrayed in this piece.

      Fish-market test? Am gonna fail too. East Bengal or Mohunbagan? Who cares!!!

      A cool dude (not beefy like a WWF wrestler, but at least well-built up) who has his brains in the right place is more welcome as a husband than a nerd with spectacles who only writes poetries and has his nose stuck in a book all day.

      I have no offences to one who thinks a Punjab ki kudi is hotter, they are hotter by the scale of looks, but it is the personality and intellect of Bong girls that make them hot. So they basically dont compare.

      And some points in the piece give a feeling that Bong girls are all about dominating and enslaving their partners. Really??? Give it a break. We too want partners, not some puppy.

      I dont know if all these disqualify me for being regarded as a Bong girl, only the facct still remains that by birth, I am one. :D

      • seriously! people need to grow up and get a sense of humor! Seriously! This was supposed to be funny people! Also, just so you know this was satire on stereotypes! Stereotypes exist everywhere! We can either frown at it all our life or accept it and laugh at it.. Best of all we can laugh at ourselves!

      • @Ria – So u want a Guy with brawn & not brains but want bengali girls to be judged by their intellect not their looks. Double Standard.

    • I don’t think you have to try hard to come across as a chauvinistic prick. This blog post was written with tongue-in-cheek. Maybe you can’t appreciate that.

      And correcting typos? really? That’s your way of criticism?

  40. I am in love with a beautiful Bengali girl and she says that 75% of this blog is true .. I said ‘yeah, you can’t agree with anything 100%. After all you are a bong !!’ :P

  41. I agree with all the points except no- 13, Bong women always force their sons to wear monkey caps, my mother did that to me when i was young. Even now my mother & grand mother will ask me to wear a muffler during winter. FYI all bengali boys are momma’s boys. We are nothing without our mothers. Bengali mothers are fiercely protective of their sons.

  42. Well, being a probashi bangali..I dont really have a prob if my guy cnt differentiate between rui and katla..honestly even i get confused smtimes..but hell yeah..bong girls r d best ;)

  43. i’m not a bong but my girl is..and i see what u did up there!
    flawless :D and that makes me love her all the more ;) :)

  44. Why is it exactly opposite with me then?…..my bong girl is superhot….true…everythng else…False…
    And ya i would fail the fish market test maybe ..im a marwari (strictly vegetarian…)..anyways…impressive piece of article…

  45. Very well compiled! I just have one suggestion. The points #8, #20 and #43 should be made #1, #2 and #3 respectively! Just saying.. ;-)

  46. Interesting piece of article!
    Inspite of being a Bong myself, never knew that girls were also interested in Mohun Bagan vs East Bengal rivalries.
    By the way, I hate fish, so does that mean am not getting a Bangali Bodhu for marriage? :)

  47. here hear… :-D I’ll certify that atleast where me and the girls I know are concerned most of these are very salient reasons to say no to a guy.. ;-)

  48. Amazing facts..!! M a regular bong guy.. agreeing to most of the above mentioned points… still i would like to add one point though… May b a bong girl wouldn’t be impressed with a guy’s big swanky car… but trust me if u listen to ‘ei poth jodi na shesh hoye” instead of “brown rang or break up party” u will be able to the “Wizard”…
    Trust me it works…!!! ;)

  49. I don’t think i am good enough to marry a bong girl, after reading the above article. I fail around 35 requirements…
    Am also sure, i won’t be choosin to marry a bong girl.
    You see, i think computer is the best thing to have happened after electricity.
    I hate fish. Rather eat a crocodile.
    I hate begun bhaaja. Its total crap.
    Sherlock beats Sheldon Cooper anyday. Won’t marry someone who is outdated.
    I will kill any girl who says, “Jibon Maane Zee Bangla.”
    Game of Thrones over Maa.

    I am not qualified. Wont make my life a living hell by marrying a devil’s advocate.

    • A very small piece of advice: Never say Die before you are actually dead and all your negative points can be substituted by positive alternatives, eg.:
      1. Opposed to Computers: Cinema that has given us Uttam Kumar – Suchitra Sen, Biswajeet –
      Sandhya Roy …….. down to Dev – Shubhasree to fantasize.

      2. Fish can easily be replaced by chicken / mutton, and begun bhaaja by crisp Bangaali
      aloo bhaaja & “Beguni” which are, by far, better delicacies.

      3. Holmes will be better paralled by Kiriti Ray, Byomkesh Bakshi and Phelu Mittir.

      4. You don’t have to kill anyone for Zee Bangla. Get killed by Star Jalsha!

      Above all, the Devil does wear PRADA and the Advocate gets a good share of that too!!!

  50. you forgot to mention “self-obsession bordering on psychotic narcissism” and the allied consequences of being with one + the pungent odor of the dries dead fish combined with god-like worship of the most pathetic football team, is there anything more, oh yes, a lot more!!!

  51. i’m punjabi and glad that none of these rules mattered to my bong fiance :) FYI Punjabi Kudis are hotter but bongs are too sweet n lovable to resist!!

  52. Simply superb. You are spot-on..in most of the things. At least such notions are in vogue; either wrongly or rightly but they are there.

  53. When I wrote this, it was supposed to be funny, self deprecating humour. Had not intended to either glorify or demean anyone…A little shocked at some of the people attacking me personally. Hope good sense will prevail.

  54. Dhonnobad. 49 r 50 ta improve korte hobe, specially 49. apart from these, 10, 11 r 12 handle korbar effective ponthha 1ta ber korechhi —— shei dik thheke bachoa. :D

  55. oh… most of your points matches with my GF (me non-bong, & she bong). But, above all, you are really good at spinning tales and selling stuff for a living. Good time ahead.

  56. Fair points, well made. :-) But please go through a grammar check, the next time you write. It is quite irritating to read through a piece with so many errors.

  57. Your post has become viral, I guess it is nicely written. Otherwise, why would so many people like it? Hey, I just felt, you got dumped by some Punjabi guy. It is perfectly fine. Things happen, we learn slowly. Cheers.

    – An ordinary Bengali guy.

  58. Without having knowledge about all these 50 points , I accidently have married a Bong lady about 36 years ago. After my marriage only I got to know that- I’m a very good for nothing fellow who should not have been married at all and should not have ruined life of a lady. Gradually I got to know what are my drawbacks and so on. Marrying a Bong lady is surely a learning method to know about yourself.

  59. Absolutely loved the piece! :) But it made me worry. Where will I find such a guy, who happily and willingly puts up with all my Bong quirks!!!!!

  60. Loved it…Very well written..hilarious….Read the Telegraph’s one, but I found yours better :)…I will forward the link to my fiancée and ask him if he would like to re-think his proposal :P….

  61. Awesome piece of article…. Could relate to most of the points wid myself… though instead of luchi n begun bhaja i wud hv preferred luchi aar khejurer gur bt nonetheless begun bhaja is gud enuf…. nd read sm of the above comments in wich one said abt kancha lanka nt being a bong gals choice… well kancha lonka n sorsher tel r the 1st 2 items wich a bong gal is familiar with in the kitchen…. common alu sheddo cannot b prepared without sorsher tel n kaancha lonka…… elissh macher jhol o jhaal chara bhalo lage na….. speaking of fish… ahhhh… evn after being a probashi i love fish and cant go without it evn fr a day….. fish market test ws a gud 1… i personally cant stand it.. bt yeah u shud hv added another point i.e. the guy must know to buy fresh river fish nd fresh veggies to pass on the test and he shud really b a foodie….

  62. This piece is a delight to read!
    Expressed very well- the whole i your face, with a nice pinch of satire :)
    Bengali women have always been rather straightforward, independent and taught to be so from their roots! So no compromise stands a change .

  63. I was casting a perfunctory glance at my friends’ updates on FB, a girlfriend of mine (a girl who is a friend, I mean) shared your post, and that’s how I was drawn over here.

    Whether I agree with all your points or not is a different thing, but, girl, surely, you have a fantastic sense of humor. Not a single point failed to make me laugh… laugh out loud, I mean. I laughed so laughed that my neighbor knocked on my door and asked if everything was okay, if I was out of mind. I assured him everything was okay, but I could sense he doubted it.

    I have a WP account, as you see, but normally I don’t comment on others’ post, however, yours is an exception, I made up my mind to log in to my WP account, so I could write this comment.

  64. I am myself from Bengal & I believe that this truly holds for Bengali Girls. Yes.,thats hw they are…n y not, after all bengal is a land where Devi (Goddess) is worshipped & so well are the girl folk treated. A rare culture…
    Explicitly BONG…
    Very well written…
    But still, I too won’t marry a Bong Girl….!!

  65. Rimjhim,I somewhat agree on the point you put forward related to Leonard Cooper as I am a fan of big bang theory and i loved the piece,sadly i am half-ghoti and half-bangal plus a phuchka loving probasi bangali so kudos to you and your article…… :D

  66. Its upsetting to observe the dearth of good harmless humour these days.. Iv been reading the posts, whats with everyone attacking the woman who took out precious time to post this fairy impressive article?

    Im a Hard-core bong too and i cannot relate with more than 25 bullet points! So what??

    Spare the aggressive-attack posts and have some maach bhaaja instead!

    Good Luck with your work Rimjhim! :)

  67. I am surrounded by very attractive bong women and after reading this post I’m losing hope for myself :P I guess I ought to soldier on and not give up.

  68. m not a bong …but a good post ,…frankly speaking i have known many of my male frnds going through this…..nd i hav my fullest sympathies for them…..but…. i tooo love fish nd then i let goo….anybdy who loves fish cannot be disliked by me…fish rocks

  69. “You have the musical talent of a WWF wrestler – Your musical talent is almost close to zero”…..
    Really?????????!!!!!!!! Facts:
    Jeff Hardy taught himself how to play the guitar and is a member of a band called Peroxy?Gen
    Chris Jericho is the lead singer in a globe-trotting Band named Fozzy.
    The Rock(no less!!) is an accomplished guitarist and has played out twice at Monday Night Raw
    John Cena(the guy around whom wwe revolves) is a hip-hop rapper whose album debuted at NO.15 on the US Billboard 200..
    & IT IS WWE!!!!!!
    If Bong girls don’t know that much,they will definitly ekla cholo re….

    P.s Kidding!!!! Loved the article. A proud WWE fan and a much prouder spouse of a Bong Girl.(No she couldn’t teach me Bengali!!)

  70. Saw this doing the rounds, so had to read it. The content is crappy and I won’t go into the ‘why’ part of it, but you should atleast not have contradicted yourself or your idea so many times in the same article. That’s a basic flaw in your writing. Why did I take the trouble to write this comment ? If I were to write the same article I would have fared no better.

  71. Bong girls are Supperr hawwwtt….but in their own dreams. Just like all bongs think they are Rabindra Naths, nobel laureates each of them, all bong girls think they are Bipasha. Please! you look like luchis or ruhi fish skeletons, either extreme, with no substance, but a really fiery tongue…you keep hot because you eat lots of mangsho…you need to chill babes, and keep in check your overt sexuality, which is not appealing…no punjabi, or any non-bong for that matter would want a bong girl as his wife. So stop being so self obsessed.

  72. ha ha ha,
    hilarious !! :-D

    i have two awesome bong besties, and we three are friends since we were in 9th standard.
    umm, i am not going to marry either of them though but yeah after reading this post, one this is sure that they will be facing hard time getting a guy of their choice.
    Lol.

    bong girls are so complicated. :-P

  73. I object to the point number 17, “You do not think luchi, begun bhaja are the best thing to happen after electricity”, actually it happened before electricity..

  74. Marry and see, as I do, between me and her,
    It is always she and hers who talk,
    All I do is, at oppurtunity, offer,
    While she stands at the blackboard, to hand her the chalk.

  75. Oh ma go!That is just so… Well written, hilarious & real.
    Well,except the part of the ‘fish market test a.k.a. fainting spell’.I’m nothing if not fair.I can’t tolerate the smell of raw fish.Sue me. :-P

    We’all don’t hate punjabis.I love my butter chicken as well as malaikaris. Yes,amritsari fish is an acceptable substitute for paturi. As is Chhole for Ghoogni.(Foodie here) :-)

    And he has to beat ‘me’ at scrabble. ;-)

    By the way,this write-up presents some questions(at least in my mind).
    Do you mean to dissuade or scare the becharas(which is nigh impossible,since we’re bewitching) or present a challenge to any potential suitors(which is good)? :-P ;-)

    Gotta say this-Loved it.The cheekiness,the dry wit,the humour,the absurd,the bullets,the intro.,the conclusion.

    :-D You made me smile.

  76. kudos to bong girl who can proficiently make hilarious things about the same gender & same culture….. i think bong girls r sweeter than chocolate, bitter than ucchhe, so almost the juxtaposition of all traits are there….just like ‘zalmuri r akher gur;
    all ‘Nyakamo’ is the ‘alonkar ‘ of Bengali girls, they keep it as p.c chandra jeweleries. being a bong girl m so far from all those Nyakamos & may be thats why boys keeps a distance from me for making relationship. . bcz bong boys just love this ..:)

  77. There is just one thing I dont understand about bengallis.

    In my view, Bengallis are amongst the most highly educated and intellectual people in India(atleast the ones I have met).

    I fail to understand how they allow themselves to be ruled by thugs like Bannerjee and the Left Front.

    Even Bihar has a Nitish Kumar Now.

  78. The thing is ….I love the Bengali women with all the above “rules” …they are too cute to be bound by such “rules”
    Aamra bengali aamader Bou o chai bengali :P No bengali is “satisfied” without a bengali bou among them…bujhle ? :P

  79. I could give a 100 reasons for marrying a Bengali girl……and 50 rules get beaten by the dust :P

    Aami Bengali aar aami jaani eilish ki aar katla ki….pona macch o jaani :P……chingri anyone ? ;-)

    Punjabi ra kono din pona macch dekhechhe ? :))

  80. a very good read Rimjhim !! and such grt satire – it’s really good to be able to laugh at ourselves once in a while :)

    and to all those who boast of a ‘well culture’ and talk abt ‘proper grammar’ and make personal attacks – trust me u folks shud totally skip reading articles as this, it’s not meant for u guys …but then on second second thots, those comments were really entertaining :D

  81. Married to a bong, most of the points exist. Fortunately dint have to go through most of them to win her hand.
    U forgot to mention that in arguments of intelligence over rest of India, they are the only state to have the the most number of Nobel Prize Winners and this is constantly used.

  82. HI Rimjhim…first time visit here (saw this post shared on my FB wall) and wow! this piece is just awesome….being a Bong (see my name, only a Bong can have such a name), I totally agree with almost all points…the last one nails it…we are witches, waiting for wizards, who happen to be very “rare”….sad case :P :D

  83. Well written. Guess that is why I am a still single….sorser tel growing up in narkel tel land!……. Love the comments and the little sorse-narkol tel war in between…….. BTW curious to know Mr Ray he should start training Bongs……… may be start a Bong Grooming Academy or something!

    Cheers to you both!

  84. Im not Bengali by birth but a keralite…
    But brought up in kolkata…
    N i think point number 10, 11, 12, 21, 23, 38, 39, 40, 43, 44.
    These are the 10 things dat make me bangalish…
    N for da record narkel tel is tasty too….

  85. Loved ur pc Rimjhim…and request readers to loosen up a bit…give her some poetic licence and enjoy…not every pc of art is 100% replica of reality…its just to tickle ur emotions…so simply enjoy and move on…now let me quickly share this with my non-bong husband and make him feel good about his achievements….and rid him of all his doubts..:)

  86. Correct me, if am wrong :Bong is all about smoking cannabis, tobacco, or other stuffs. and Bong girl is the one who loves that. – That is my understanding about Bong girls. But you used that to refer to females from Bengal. Is that a common usage ? Like Malayalees known as Mallu etc ?

  87. point #2 #7 #8 #21 and #35
    true to its core… just loved it
    n guys grow up…. dont tk it so seriously …. you obvsly cnt generalz
    rimjhim kudos to you

  88. tomake date korte chaai, rimjhim.

    you cannot? oh come on, you’re a bong. and who cares about your hubby, he was just like me when he first met you.
    if you can hallucinate him, sure you can me.

    p.s. i am a boxer, so wedding ring [jodi dorkar pore], tumi shamlabe! ;)
    nyaka meye!

  89. Boring and banal. To matter how much you deny, you just edited the article came in telegraph. Also most of your other points hold equally good if the article had the name “50 reason why a bong guy would not marry you”, remaining are either common girly issues or a direct copy for telegraph.

    1 True for any girl
    2 True for any girl
    3 True for any girl
    4 Holds good for “50 reason why bong guy would not marry you
    6 True for any girl
    7 True for any girl
    8 Copy of telegraph
    9 Holds good for “50 reason why bong guy would not marry you
    10 True for any girl
    11,12,12,14 true for girls
    15 Copy of telegraph
    16 Holds good for “50 reason why bong guy would not marry you
    17 Your personal choice may be, there are lot more. And for bongs luchi and cholar dal are like conjoined twins.
    18 True for bongs guys too
    19 Again a personal choice
    20 Holds good for “50 reason why bong guy would not marry you

    I have lost interest now, so not reading further.
    p.s: A personal opinion.

      • I stand in total agreement with you, I do have a lack of sense of humour for repeated satires. Although this is plain tweak, even an inspirational work should credit it’s original creator. If you are wandering about the factual evidences, google “50 reasons why one shouldn’t marry a Bengali woman” and select the telegraphindia link. And if you are little to lazy to check that by yourself, please ignore me and continue enjoying this article like everyone else :)

  90. A good read. More Fictional than Factual but enjoyable (one never knows when what turns into what…. phew!). From what I know and do understand, every woman has the list to her guy-to-be list but what really matters is “The Adjust-ability Quotient.”

  91. Pingback: 50 reasons a bong girl will not marry you » Bakaristan

  92. The best point i liked best:
    3.You think slower than she speaks – A bong girl beats any Chennai express hollow. You will be left fishing for words or thoughts.

    I am not a bengali but I am born and brought in west bengal. And the above holds very true for all of my bengali friends. They really defeat my thoughts while speaking.

  93. If the original article or this adapted version (or the other way round) depicts what Bengali women are like, it seems they are a breed that are so comfortable with their surroundings that they would never dare to venture out and see what the world is like. And yes it puts the bechara Bengali babus in a very poor light.

    As for the writing, it should have been kept shorter to keep most people engaged or hooked to the article. Yes, if the TRG is a self-consumed group of Bengalis (or any other state for that matter), they would have enough time on their hands to actually read through all of this.
    Yes, I have strong opinions. A south-Indian cannot survive in North India. A North-Indian would feel like an alien in a group of Bengalis. The root of the problem is we don’t try and look for goodness in others and think that we or our culture is supreme. Love the passion in Punjabis, they will go any length to protect their friends. Love the intelligence of South-Indians, they will tell you the importance of living life simple. Love the talent in Bengalis, they will amaze you with the things that you can do apart from just your job. And appreciate the industrious Gujjus who can turn everything to gold. I know that not all Punjabis are passionate and not all Bengalis talented. But since this article is all about stereotyping, I couldn’t help myself

    And before alphaquest86 comes after my life for trying to table my opinions, don’t say that this is just a piece of satire that can be read and forgotten. Then my dear, you are undermining the power of the pen and internet.

    • May I tell you what was going through my mind while I wrote this? Having a small laugh at at our idiosyncrasies, my idiosyncrasies. Maybe it came out right. Maybe it didn’t. But I would rather not have anyone decide for me the author’s intent.

      • Great fitting reply Rimjhim… And as you know a better piece of writing has more than one interpretation. My opinion is my own to have and express :)
        This post triggered some sentiments that I could not help but share here. In real life, I try to break prejudices though I am guilty of the crimes at times.

        Anyways, the post has gone viral, so congratulations are in order.

      • Couldn’t agree more with you Rimjhim. We need to be able to laugh at ourselves and not get caught up in cross-cultural debates. It was fun ! Keep writing.

  94. Woman, I am gonna troll you henceforth! LOVED IT…………..start to finish! And for the record, now I know why so many alliances I hoped for a certain someone……………..failed ;)

  95. thats why im married to a sardarni,& strangely enough,she read my poem before meeting me,we bonded over crosswords,exchanged books & i beat her brother in chess.:D

  96. I know that south Indians don’t mentally associate themselves with rest of Indians. But insulting other culture shows how much culture you have. India is famous for it’s cultural diversity, we should embrace each other. But I’m not surprised as this comment is from a south Indian.

    • The fact is that the – “south indian” folks here who insult the bongs and the rest of the junta “bong” or otherwise who retaliate – BOTH of you set of folks disgust the majority of us folks. I have some really awesome south indian and bong and punjabi (etc) friends and they’re all awesome people – just that every culture is different so SHUT UP about the sambar and the fish and the any other jokes or insults you have. Your minds are petty and closed. Dont judge any culture just because you dont understand it.

  97. Ola! It’s brawn not brawns. There is no plural of brawn its just brawn. BrawnS on the other hand is a type of cold cut which im pretty sure is not what you were referring to in reason no.7.
    Other than that, an entertaining post :)

  98. hello Rim, this is really a nice article. Infact my bong girl forwarded this to me and asked me read. What you have written actually makes sense and to an extent, it is true. Now I have asked her to reply to me if I am a wizard or not :)

  99. only god can save people who are going to marry these typical mentality girls. no hard feelings. Guys only god can save you.

  100. Listen, cousins, if nobody married Bong girls, wouldn’t Bongs become extinct ? A bong girl may have so many idiosyncrasies, but it’s been my experience that she’d never mind her bluff being called on any of them….far from it. AND if you have a list of your own idiosyncrasies and are confident about them, why would you be bothered by another s’? At any rate, “SHE MAY BE A BONG, BUT SHE’S STILL A GIRL” !!!

  101. Ms. Rimjhim,
    Just a little clarification wanted…. Doesnt your piece makes the ‘bengali girls’ a topic of laughter to all your respected Readers!!
    I get a feel, more than a sarcastic approach it was some sort of subtle insult towards the Ladies.
    Being one of the bengali girls in my 20s I and most of my lady- friends beg to differ from most of your points.

    • Cmon Madhurima, its just a witty cultural personification, am sure todays world is globalised enough to realise this, chill and have enjoy!.. :D :D

  102. This is definitely a well written article and quite hilarious at times but too often it borders on extreme regionalism. A lot of these traits are not typical to Bengali women and it makes me sad to see the degree of regional stereotyping you have resorted to. The comment about Punjabi men and women makes me sick and your binaristic presumption that Bengalis are all about brains and the rest about ‘brawn’ is too juvenile. I have some really intelligent Bengali friends but then I have met quite as many Bengalis who are appallingly stupid. Satire is effective when it criticizes social stereotypes, not when it endorses them.

  103. I am a Bengali guy. I don’t just pass above mentioned criterion. I ace them in all totality. 23, well settled, decent and yeah….audacious. Maybe it’s just me but yeah, the recent movie culture has more or less promoted a more egalitarian concept in terms of inter- state marriages. Given the number of hate forums against Bengalis in general and Bengali men in particular, a lot of negative hype has built up.
    Bong girls are never bad.In fact, I find that occasional childish tantrum very sweet. Brings the protective side within every male to bear. Only that many a girl imprisons herself in the glass cell of false security when she is in a relationship. Result: A tragic cutie-pie who loses her faith in herself and others. No, this is not chauvinism. This is the truth.

    I wish the best for our Bong “tigresses” (*fluffy kittens is more like it if you manage to please one)..and I really wonder why they were potrayed as dominating. For all I know, they know to respect their space and do unto others as they would have done to themselves :)

    Thats all.

  104. Phew! You’ve already got a LOT of responses! Had a good laugh reading your piece :)) Of course I am Bong!

  105. I dated a bong girl for some time, and I believe if anyone can get close to bong girls … its us Mallus (probably the communism and the fish in the blood)!! :-)

    • @MSP: If one’s to “shut up”, not joke or not insult anyone, what’s one supposed to do, in any discussion ? Aren’t you being a bit judgmental yourself ? This is somebody’s blog, where we are guests, and are expected to follow the rules of etiquette. This ‘thread’ was about the idiosyncrasies of Bengali girls, about what makes them tick; certainly, nothing that would invite rudeness. By the way, I’m curious about the basis of your categorization as to South Indians-by names?-I’m a Kannadiga, married to a Maharashtrian girl, (woman, now !!!) with a daughter, 14, born and brought up in Goa, who considers herself Goan, and with punjabis, bengalis, keralites, foreigners, christians, muslims….everything, really,….in my close family. Being 45, I’m not likely to make irrational or hurtful comments….SO, friend……would you kindly stop thinking in stereotypes, and give credit to BONG girls, one of whom has got us so stirred up, that we’ve forced ourselves to make elaborate comments like these, thereby buttressing and reinforcing her humorous view, that there is, indeed, something fiery, about Bong girls.
      Sorry, Ms.Ray for the elaborateness, I just felt I had to.

      • AS a guest here myself, I feel the same too; thank you for putting up this comment.

  106. 31. “You do not know the answer to ‘ Kamon hobe tumi boloto?’ – Loosely translated this means – What will happen darling. The answer is not giving an answer but say – Tumi bolo. And let this go into an infinite loop.”
    liked the most .. rofl …..

  107. Hilarious…wasnt sure whom to go for??? Kareena or Katrina…..Have found unmistakable clarity….wont settle for anything less dan a Bengali girl now….in fact Bipasha will do i guess :-)

  108. Useful or not, it is most hillarious. Especially to bong men like me, who upon self-reflection feel almost arrogant of having so many of the enlisted properties by default. ;)

  109. And point 31. deserves a most special mention. It ached my stomach in the best of all ways – laughing..!!

    “You do not know the answer to ‘ Kamon hobe tumi boloto?’
    The answer is not giving an answer but say – Tumi bolo.
    And let this go into an infinite loop”

    **epic**

  110. “Kosto korle kesto pawa jai”..the creator of the whole “sundooooooor” thing must understand..seems he is a big experience guy

  111. Hi, Sumit forwarded me this link because I am a bong. All your points made me laugh through out..!! it was witty and in some cases the sttements were damn true..!!! :D

  112. Well written piece indeed with an objective to have a positive sense of fun (for those who understand as wat this is). Few points: A well written note, No one appreciated as how difficult it may be for all remaining of us of we had to write 30 points about the choices and dislikes of our community (Forget 50 and this gal has done), indeed no community in India is comparatively good or bad (Let is be the milky whitish Kashmiri gal or a dusky Tamil gal) – all are gud, yes we all need to respect all languages, religions, cultures and then njoi the carrm of life, Almost 99% of the points are true, I njoid a lot and yes this was no grammar test so its fine!. If Bong gals are cute, Punjabi gals are hot, North east gals are charmers, tamil gals are introverts but enjoying in themselves, Mallu gals are awesome, and this will go on and on and on till the Marathi progis to oriya sundaris :)

    God bless all of us and JAI HIND!

  113. Very well written and funny to boot…married to a Bong for over a decade…Biggest change..Maach is staple diet now instead of CHICKEN…and loving it..cheers to CHINGRII MAACH….MACHER JHOL…(P.S. Apologies to all for the incorrect grammer and text..)

  114. Haha..amazing stuff lady! :) I loved it.. :D Came here after one of my very close bong friend shared it on facebook…she sounded soo happy and excited post reading this..I just had to come with no choice(thank her…) and what I find is..your work has made the visit worth! Cheers and then, I hope the bong girls somehow get someeee guy to marry after rejecting almost everyone for these interesting reasons :P

  115. Lots of comments, huh! Would say it was just a grade above comme ci comme ça. Trying to streo-type a bong woman within 50 basic points, only god can save you :D

  116. Brave Lady! trying to limit and stereo-type Bong woman in 50 points :P :D
    Like the chatty writing style. Keep it up!

  117. Nice article Rimjhim. Had fun reading it … even more fun reposting it on FB. Not sure all of this is true but what the heck….. it was enjoyable nevertheless. :-)

  118. For some reason, this reminded me of Vicky Donor. Inter-culture associations are often funny. I’m sure Bong girls are unique in some respects, like everyone else, but the daddy-issues you mentioned are universal.

  119. Guys, please be careful while replying to such racial slurs. I can bet that this is a Paki and not a Tam! Tams are some of the best mannered ppl I know, and even if you disagree, be sure they won’t come out and abuse like this, unless some intelligent bong girl eke nachiye preme nakani chobani khaiyeche…

  120. A good, entertaining read; but can’t really say “spot on” (although I wish I could!). Some of the stereotypes are probably true, but some are too specific. I know a remarkably large number of nubile Bengali women who are not interested in Big Bang Theory and are swayed by ostentation of wealth and muscles. In fact, a good percentage of urban. sophisticated Bengali women seem to have developed an aversion towards the bespectacled, intellectual, cerebral Bengali male that your article paints as the ideal groom.

  121. I have been after a bong girl for some time, and I believe this is the best post about Bong Girls you ever find anywhere .. Its almost correct .. matching to my bong Girl ..

  122. Whatever it may be…i like bong girl very much as they having beuty….beauty of all sence…lots of jell,enthusiasm, strong likes n dislikes,humours,sence of fashion, knowledge..culture…hats off bongo lalonas.. <3 <3 <3

  123. Exceptional writing..including the title of the page & your self-addressal…Would like to see you reach more heights and fame….All the best Rimjhim :-)

  124. My reply was to MSP, not to ArunM, don’t know how it got there…..perhaps, the blogs of Bong girls are as eccentric as Bong girls themselves !!!

  125. Extraordinary and amazingly honest, incredible sensitivity and empathy…
    you exemplify all this and more. More power to you and your pen.
    Thank you for this post – you’ve empowered a lot of us to feel a little less
    inadequate and a lot more sane.

    All best and God bless. And yes, please do keep writing.

  126. boring and didn’t quiet make sense to me … some are general bong traits; rest would be same for any girl, whether bong or punjabi. would have made more sense if it came from a non-bong boy.

  127. I’ve always said that Bengalis are the best kissers because they know how to handle the fish bones ;)

    i think some are insecure about that

  128. Haha! Enjoyed the comments more than the article, it was way too lengthy, witty probably but humorous or not is to each their own perception.
    Just one thing, what if a guy or “Bong Guy” would have written this, imagining more criticism then. :p
    Nevertheless, we need good bloggers and writers. Good Luck! :D

  129. This is trending in our family FB group and cousins are having a field day. Other day one of themforwarded this to my hubby too. Hilarious!

  130. Rimjhim, awesome post…got posted on fb by one of my good friends and I commented (with a little bit of pride, of course) that I know the author :D

  131. I too a bong girl. lived in Kolkata all through my life ………other than some facts I agree with most of them………..Actually I don’t know all of our traditions..shame………. infact till now I don’t know exact steps of a bengali marriage ceremony………..

  132. I have lived in almost every corner of India and can speak and understand almost all the languages of India. I find Bengali to be the sweetest language and Bengali girls are the most beautiful. They are creative and they love reading incessantly. They love singing, dancing, poetry, Golgappas( puchkas ), watching football and Dhaki dancing at Aarti dance competition of Durgo pujo. They love fish, prawns, mustard oil, singhadhas ( samosas ), loochis ( poories ), Mishty Dohee ( Yoghurt-sweetened ) and of course, Rosogullas. I forgot to mention Mosala Mudhi, aloo chaat and Rabindro Songeet. And finally, they’ve the poise and charm beyond imagination…!!

  133. Hey how uncannily close to what I am – especially the Sheldon Cooper bit ! and also hating anything ostentatious.. wanting the hubby to cook and clean. Lady – you are a mind reader :D My husband is a non-bong and I have to make him read this !

  134. Love u for assessing us right!!!!!! We r like this…love it or hate it..u have to live with it…😉
    My hubby is a wizard….pleats grtttt!!!!

  135. Article is nicely written but lil way back for current generation (By current I mean born in 80’s and 90’s, the one’s which are currently of Dating age :D)

    1.They are really talented and can beat the shit out of you!!!! (In few things mostly related to literature)

    2. I have to praise my gf everyday, no matter what she wears and I am short of it now. But how could I praise her better than previous on a special occasion when she gets dressed…is their a superlative for BEST or BESTEST or BESTEST with !!!! or Very BESTEST or anything after MOST BEAUTIFUL..

    3.No matter what she cooks you need to give feedback exactly after first bite…maybe you can give a feedback even before having the first morsel, she wont mind…but if u finish the first one and move towards the second one….you are DEAD!!!…time is money!!!!

    4.No-one has ever spelled or written her name correctly since last 5 years as I know her. The names are picked from Aooroobindooo’s poetry’s or some dark black&white literature in stone age….

    5.Respect Her!!!!

    6.You CANNOT ever win an argument. (PERIOD!!!)

    7.Bong guys are most champu I have ever seen..like GHOOSH BOBOOO (the mouth is always shaped in a big “O”)

    8.Mine is a rare kind, Bong who is vegan but cooks fish (atleast) for my sake…Respect!!!

    9.Can start crying in anykinda bollywood movies u just need to put some mamta and masala in it….mine cries most of the day’s watching balika vadhu (currently its for poor Ganga who is alone in Mangalore…)

    10 The only thing you need to live a happy life with her is LOVE, LOVE and LOVE..priceless/unmeasuarable/uncountable/unquestioned

    thats it!!! She does not ask for anything materialistic but LOVE….

  136. kudos for your research and very well articulated…point no 13 keeps me laughing..also, keep updating the list, may help us prepare well enough to impress the bong lady !! cheers, ;-)

  137. all the qualities mentioned are true of a Bong guy…………thankfully I was not one so managed to impress a Bong girl and marry her !!

  138. well the best part of being wit a bong is that u can drive a ferrari even wen u are office clerk.. breathtaking beauty, with the subtle humour associated… wat else u want? consider our esteemed author for instance… isnt she a keeper( oporadh khoma korben maam!!). the reasons stated by rimjhim are somewat exactly the reasons a guy likes abt her wife n in laws.. i would always prefer my in laws callin me Misti chele than keepin a straight face…:)

  139. Thanks for breaking out of our ‘bharamo’ style humor and doing an insightful AND funny piece. If it weren’t insightful – so many people wouldn’t be amused / offended or on the attack. Wow! Bong guys are the real drama-queens here! As for me, I started sniggering at ‘side please’ and couldn’t stop till the end (I mean, really! who says ‘side please’ outside the subcontinent?). A great, big ‘kudos’ from opar bangla.

  140. Ha ha ha.. Really enjoyed that one. Didn’t manage to pass all the tests except the crucial literary one, the Sheldon Cooper one and the fuchka one but managed to persuade by Bengali darling to marry me. Even though the dad-in-law was ‘chele bengali noi???’
    Life is now the perfect mix of nariyel tel and shorsher tel. :)

  141. Very nicely written with loads of humour ..but I believe you have stereotyped the Bengalis in some points..it is true that Bengali girls look up to their fathers ,but then so does every daughter of the world who has a loving father.Also ,cricket isn’t unpopular in Bengalis at all……cricket as a game, appeals more to some Bengalis than football .,I would also like to know whether your article was meant to glorify us Bengali girls or to insult them :)

  142. You have written this but reality is contrary because it’s the bong guys who are ruling over foreigners.Probably they don’t want to marry anyone but they are extremely intelligent and hot.

    I was reading this blog-Indian/Chinese IQ puzzle.

    And one of them really made a Jewish to bent her/his knees down in front of them.But that guy was a Brahmin so that probably gave him extra bit of fire.

    Since then I see Google search…Bengali men intelligent,good,hot,Bengali Brahmin super intelligent etc but I don’t find any search on Bengali woman.

    I’m not Bengali and not even a woman but I’m also Brahmin and enjoyed how he destroyed those foreigners through his intellect.Another Bong Brahmin guy said bong girls are primitive and dumb too.

    • I leave you to the fury of the primitive, dumb bengali women. Btw I have a first class degree in Mathematics, a national scholarship a 98 percentile in GMAT and an MBA. But I guess because I am not a man, I do not qualify to be intelligent. Our countymen do put women in their proper places.

  143. Rimjhim Ray: Brilliant writing , KUDOS to your SOH, In my perspective you are a rare combination of great writing skill, SOH, eyes to detail and a great thinker, India really needs thinkers and writers like u(I hope you are planning to write a buk). Please let me know if you give TUTIONS for creative writing :) thumbs up

  144. Man you really have too much free time to think of all these shits.. Go get a job man or you cannot measure up to any girl and really forget a bong girl, you are not up to that level. I know know you are frustrated about how worthless you are but it’s no good sharing it in public just do something about it.

    • @Sourav-You are a Bengali but definitely belong to low IQ retarded one because you should know that your blogger being scared in names of Sampan and Sunny did not moderate our comments.And you should know Sunny is my friend and Sunny knows Sampan very well as well as Sambit because he has one record of winning 2 gold medals in both Physics and Mathematics Olympiad.

      More importantly you should know I’m not here to discuss about marriage but was talking about creative talent where Bengali girls are not comparable with Bengali guys.

      ***I’m an Mechanical Engineer PHD student in UCB,national Chemistry Olympiad qualifier and more talented than any of your people who have posted here including you.

      Sunny told Sampan about it and he showed as much interest as someone would show to a naive,mentally retarded people.

      BTW,I have nothing against Bengali girls but compared to your Brahmin-Kayastha guys they have not achieved significant in intellectual field.Now if you people can’t take little criticism then I have got one word PITY.

      FYI:MY GF is a Romanian American so I don’t have to look for any of your bong girl.

      • Our condolences for the Romanian American that she has to see the worst side of a nation plagued by caste and gender myopia. If you do not stop abusing me and my readers, we will have to report and ban you.

      • Pandey is such an entertainer. Keep going man.
        BTW you qualify to be Pan Globe just not Pan day (or Pan dey)!!

  145. @Rimjhim Ray-the caste discussion was brought thereby Sambit,sampan and Rik Sengupta who were all Brahmins.Matter of fact the foreigners know that apart from Brahmin there is no intelligence group there in India.Even Narinder Singh kapany,Amartya Sen also discussed why Indian IQ has gone down although Brahmin average is 110.

    Sampan made a post on 11th Sept about research of Razib Khan and his genetic analysis where you can find the genetic distribution of Brahmin of a particular ethnicity is completely different to that of a vaishya of that same community.You better read his comments and Brahmin,Khatriya ,Jat etc are Aryan tribes,rest of them are not.Speaking about caste you should ask our politicians why there are 50% reservation for some category people and even for Muslim in recent times…similarly black,women and Hisphanic are also getting special advantages here in US due to their backwardness.IQ of white American is 100,black American 80-85,African 70,Hispanic in US-90.Jew-112,East Asian 105-110.

    you better read Razib Khan or comments of Sampan and you will understand that a Bengali Brahmin has nothing common with a Bengali vaishya but a UP Brahmin has almost similar gene compared to a Bengali Brahmin.

    And since Sampan was Brahmin,I’m damn proud for his success and the way he destroyed that bitch Janet.

    Gracias.

  146. Totally loved it…the post and the comments that followed…while you are telling others to take it as humor you should also take it easy by not defending it so much. That only means one thing, you took it personally too…all in all a totally enjoyable experience!!! You write real well…things that connect at a deep emotional level, brings out our idiosyncrasies and best of all makes us all laugh if we don’t take ourselves too seriously! Keep it up and don’t worry about what they say :-)

  147. Now, this girl (whoever was modeled while making this piece of art) is a social rarity… at least I’ve never seen one like this. Bong girls have straying inclinations these days… which just means, they prefer Twilight to Charulata. And I’m serious… if this girl was true, I’ll be courting like hell!

  148. I read to your blog via a thread on facebook and i am mighty impressed with the wordplay in all your blogs.. kudos to you.. had a hearty laugh.. :D btw this is my fifth visit to kolkata, and with my minimalistic experience around bong girls.. i have to agree with all the 50 points.. lol.. ;) bong bazinga.. (huge bbt fan aswell)

  149. well, too much regionalism, haah.
    And talking about stereotypes, atleast try befriending a Punjabi girl, before claiming your supremacy.
    It’s a badly written article, reeking of arrogance and snobbery.
    Indulging in such kind of narrow mindedness, not too good for our country.
    Bongs have people like rabindranath tagore, amartya sen, suchitra sen,satyajeet ray to boast about.
    Articles like this are just used to boost the ego of some self centered bengalis. We don’t need that, do we?

  150. I hope you have commented on 100% Bong Girl (from Kolkata & WB)….not on those who were born & brought up outside WB/Kolkata…..call themselves Probasis….. Because Probasi Bengali would never like to go to Darjeeling/Sikkim but Lonawala/Shimla/Ooty etc…. and would love to enroll into Miranda House /Lady Sreeram College rather than Presidency/ Lady Brabourne.

  151. Pingback: The Choices Indian Women Make – A Male Perspective | Single in the City

  152. Reasons why you will not marry a bong girl:
    Reasons not to marry a bengali girl:
    1. She is invariably from Kolkata, even if apparently she is from Murshidabad, Ichhapore, Muzzafarnagar, Patna or other parts of Bihar or Jharkhand. She might even turn out to be a Bihari, proclaiming to be Bengali.
    2. She is supremely self confident about her looks and intellect, her self estimate will deviate from reality with a standard deviation of minus 9 sigma.
    3. She is always heated up with all that ‘mangsho’ she gulps. Her physical temperature will lead her to presume she is hot.
    4. She knows Bharatnatyam, Kathak or some other classical dance form. So these qualities are of no use for you in a wife? Shame, for who can think of a wife who is not a great dancer.
    5. She is from a ‘culturally rich family’. Her mother can dance and sing, her father can sing and play musical instruments, her brother is a part of a rock band, all of them can recite Rabindranath’s poetry.However, they look like a bunch of lightening struck nerdy racoons when you see them in actuality.
    6. Her tongue moves at a faster rate than her brain can process thoughts.
    7. She is a great cook, by her own standards. So raw mustard oil, or fish with cauliflower, or chicken with potato do not suit your taste buds? According to her it is because you never got to eat great ‘ranna’.
    8. Her mother is supposed to manage your family. You on the other hand should grow up and stop being a mamma’s whining boy.
    9. She has a ‘devastating’ fashion sense to say the least. All that oriental looking artificial ornaments will be worn as souvenirs of celebrating modernism in women.
    10. She is deeply diving into beautiful ocean of her own eyes, so never mention the squint!
    11. She will always be talking of how lecherous men are, and how easy it is for her to use her sexuality to get her job done from them.She will even practice what she believes. She calls it being open minded. In the process, she forgets that part of her body called ‘brain’ which remains unused most of the time.
    12. You have to patiently listen to her fantasies of how popular she was in the college, and how everybody fantasized about her.
    13. She will be more interested in your male colleagues than you are. Come on, it is being open minded.
    14. According to her all the females in surrounding are jealous of her because she is so gorgeous and accomplished.That is why she prefers to befriend men. That clears your doubts, right?
    15. She will incessantly talk of her aesthetic sense and her good taste and refined choices. Then she will hang clothes on a lining right in middle of the living room.
    16. She will make deliberate attempts to be all woman, with overt displays of femininity, lest you forget her gender.
    17. Even when she becomes a mother in law to her son’s bride, she’ll compete with the poor young thing in every department including looks, intelligence, cooking abilities, management capabilities, attention from other males etc. Such is her competitive streak!
    18. So you know Tolstoy or Shelly? Well who are they? You were supposed to know Rabindranath by heart, not even Bankim Chandra Chatterjee.
    19. So you think communism and Marxism are passe themes, with no relevance in current context? Even you degree from London School of Economics can not suffice the fallacy of this stupid assumption.
    20. She will dance or sing or recite in any party or social gathering. It is supposed to make you proud, not embarrass you.

  153. I am a Bong girl and I agree with most of the things written here. Although I am a probashi bengali and have never been to Kolkata, or for that matter West Bengal, in my life, I definitely judge people by their grades and their English. So I liked this.

  154. It’s not all that tough really. There’s no Bong gal, punjabi kudi, etc…all are women. Ladies do say that they want men to understand them, when all they need is Love. Love them, don’t scream at them, be successful (both in and out of bed), be someone she can be proud of. Be dashing, but be kind. Be honest, but dont be hurtful. Be loving, but don’t appear needy. Say “I love you” a thousand times, but do not forget to stand firm and ask “Do you love Me?”. Smile and laugh with her, not at her. Let her go on about her dreams, make them yours if you can. She’s usually much younger to you, so if she does something which you find unacceptable, forgive her, for she’s still learning. If she’s rude, know that she’s fighting a hard battle inside and she finds it difficult to cope. And yeah, dont forget to hug her after a fight (if you decided enough was enough), and tell her “Hey, arguments can happen. Doesnt mean I love you any less”….Kiss her, smother her with affection, but dont press it when she’s tired. If my experience counts, she’ll come to you herself. All in all, don’t fall into the quagmire of her random expectations. Be the man. take charge. take responsibility. Love Her. :) Congrats dude. Bong lady or not, she’s yours.

  155. Are you a bong Brahmin girl then,because the best word can be said about Brahmin Bengali guys and those two guys showed it in that blog Indian/Chinese IQ puzzle.They are better than Europeans and Jewish people too.

  156. I think punjabi girls and women are ugly looking, they are not smart like bongs.And thats why you are fond of bengali girls. How many of bengali girls you know sir?

  157. wow that idiotic comment was unwarranted. In addition to typecasting you also dare to answer on his behalf on why he would be fond of bong girls. I just don’t get why you had to do that. smh.

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