Category Archives: Mobility

The Akash store – Siridevi’s Army

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Akash is a game-changer. A 45$ tablet used right should revolutionize among other things education, panchayats, the kirana stores and even your local doodhwallas. Before I talk about Akash as a disrupter and while I wait for the next-gen Ubislate 7 to appear, a democratically compiled wishlist of what should the Akash store contain:

Doodh ka doodh Pani ka Pani purity sensor: The Lokpal of an app. A sensor which tells you how much water the milkman is mixing and gives you enough evidence to catch him red-handed. Why just the milkman- Akash’s purity sensor will sniff out unscrupulous grocers, hooch sellers etc by detecting mix-ups. Complicated but Akash is the limit.

Pot-hole beeper: An up to date map of all potholes anywhere in India. And an alarm system that gives a loud beep every time you approach one. Saves you from a jittery drive. Even if it leaves you slightly deaf.

Pallu Draper: An app that gives you a 3-D animated step by step guide on how to drape the nine yards. A life-saver everytime you have to impress the mother-in-law.

Flog Alert: Given the fatwa against drinking, Akash should tell you if it is safe to hit the pub in an area depending on the probability of certain elements being in the neighbourhood. And save you from the prospect of an embarrassing flog.

Queue Scanner: When you have to decide which of the equally daunting queues you should append to, the Akash will come to rescue. After a quick scan of the queues, it can tell you based on the number of people and rate of displacement, which queue is the most optimum. Queuing will be fun.

Antakshari champ: Tired of the computers which do nothing but play bridge. I will like Akash to chip in as an Antakshari player. God-send for all the lonely souls spending evenings indoors.

Kolaveri Kooler: A thanda lassi drinking app in lieu of iPhone’s beer drinker. Accompanied by soothing music. To cool down the most murderous of rages.

Match – maker: In a country where the marriage market runs into a few billion dollars, a tablet without a match-maker makes little sense. This app can take mobile match-making to a new height. The app should be able to quickly scan and match horoscopes, body types even emotional quotients based on how you have answered some questions. If this does not find you a girl, nothing will

Ghost – Buster: Moving into a new house? Worried about the Vastu and the spirits that may be residing in the place. With a ready recknoer of all evil spirits and vastu principles and a super-sensitive sensor, Akash can act as your Vastu consultant. Tell you whether the spirits residing in your home are good or evil. Go have a good night’s sleep – Akash is watching over you.

Siri Devi: And finally unveiling the mother of all assistants – Siri Devi. Know-all. Nosey. Smart. And fun. Comes in all accents – Tam or bong and everything in between. She has an answer for every question – from which is the best season for kaddu? To what should Bay-B be named? The only thing where she may fail is help you find the right girl. But there you have match-maker. Siridevi and her army of apps should help you tide even some of the less good days in the life of India. And together make sky a crossable limit.

PS: If your dream app is not on the list, drop me a note. We will put it in.

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