50 Reasons to date a Bong Boy


A number of people have been writing to me asking why I do not speak for the men? Well, why not?. I mean without men, who would fix the pipes and inspire all the beer jokes? Ok enough of my counter chauvinism, there are a lot of reasons that men are great. And because its Durga Pujo time I guess its ok to narrow down a bit and bat for Bong guys in particular. Here are 50 reasons why dating a Bong guy is a swell idea. And now there’s a bonus 51st!

  1. How can you not like someone who has such adorable pet names(daknaam) as Golu, Gogol,  Gablu?
  2. Man You know your Man U – How can you resist someone who loves something as fatafati as football?
  3. Buddy over body – The bong boy is the nice, sweet friend. He will carry your gym bag even if he does not have the gym-toned body
  4. He has a Maa who makes awesome food and you will get invited to enough of her home cooked meals
  5. He has a Maa who dotes on him so much that you do not have to feel guilty about neglecting him once in a while
  6. His relationship with the other maa-the chosmaa is just as endearing
  7. He is a little less brawny than the Punjabi boy. A little less wily than the Tams. But he packs in all the goodness in between
  8. Write club over fight club – he would not be seen around a fight club but his writing makes up for the lack of fighting
  9. He will sing for you – The rare male who has been trained in music and sings in tune
  10. His qualifications would cover pages –Chances are he may have more degrees than you can remember
  11. He writes better poetry than the average Bollywood lyricist
  12. He is snobbish and you would once in a while enjoy turning up your nose with him at the rest of the world
  13. He will have a long list of fun relations and they have adorable names such as Phool mama and phool masi(Flower Aunt. Flower uncle)
  14. He is extra chivalrous. He wouldn’t let out a cat whistle at the girls
  15. Most girls would be his confirmed sisters(This is tricky- listen carefully to the ‘dada’ intonation). You can be both relieved and tensed at thisbong debate
  16. No ugly boxing champ posters on his wall. There may be one Stallone with dreamy eyes
  17. He will zealously help you with the homework
  18. He has won atleast one debate on ‘Pen is mightier than the sword’ – he debates with a lot of oomph
  19. Yes he is the archetypal argumentative Indian. He would have an opinion on everything. And you would love debating with him
  20. He loves his fish but does not fish for money- He doesn’t marry a girl for the bank balance, usually!
  21. He is the rare metrosexual man – so no hangups about going into the kitchen and putting on the apron
  22. The suave Bong is liberated, smart and cosmopolitan. There are the opposite extremes too. So choose wisely
  23. He is senti and that can make you mental. Handle him with care but you wouldn’t mind the mush once in a while
  24. He drools over all the s’es so even when you are quarrelling, it is musical
  25. Pick a bone over break a bone for him. So at the worst you will have slaughtered fishes not broken limbs on his trail
  26. He has won atleast one of Bournvita quiz contest, Mastermind etc etc. What a thing to brag about!
  27. He hates KBC because it commercializes quizzing. After seeing Sr bacchan hem and haw you agree with him
  28. He secretly loves Bollywood though his favourite movies would always be inscrutable Hollywood movies.
  29. You can borrow vintage Hollywood DVDs and put them on your CD rack if only to show off
  30. He would have a really difficult to pronounce name but you can shorten it to a cool Anglicized one. All Bongs are a little Angrez at heart
  31. He would introduce you to the hippie crowd at Park Street
  32. And to the bohemian intellectuals of Presidency college
  33. His friends would refer to you as boudi even before you have thought about marriage. Irritating yes but kinda sweet too
  34. The Bong guy may come across as gentle and harmless but in matters of love he stands up for you
  35. A lot of divisions that matter so much in rest of India do not matter much in Calcutta. Here the only classifications are left, lefter, leftest
  36. His leftist tendencies could be romantic. The Yogi life isn’t so bad
  37. He would prefer Pondicherry to Paris for a holiday and you may end up liking the offbeat choices
  38. He wouldn’t bash up your bro, he would logically explain why he is the right guybong boy
  39. His once in a year Durga Pujo dress would be dhooti-punjabi. And that is drool worthy!
  40. He is terrible at the disc. But his dhunuchi and bisorjon dance rock
  41. At some point of time he would have tried his hand at a rock band and he would own atleast one of a guitar, harmonium, table, ektara, tanpura, violin phew!
  42. You would discover adda on the rocks and that is the next best thing to happen after Adam and Eve’s time in Eden
  43. He would get drunk on Bangla but a drunk bong is more entertainment than menacing
  44. Most creative things in this world have been produced by inebriated Bongs
  45. He is not looking for a trophy wife. So you can junk the salon routine once in a while
  46. He could fly off the handle if you mispronounce that Russian novelist’s name- trust me better than boyfriends who fly off the handle over  messed up Russian salads
  47. Your children would get really uncommon names, thanks to his love for the exotic. Never mind that the poor kids would spend a life time getting the spelling right
  48. He will get or bake you the most delicious desserts for your birthday. Seriously!
  49. While you are just getting saturated with all the sweetness, he would surprise you with the uncharacteristic fury. When you have dared say that the Tams are wiser than the Bongs.
  50. He would have a long list of diversions – theatre, books, football. Easier competition than other women!
  51. The Bong boy is little mirchi, a trifle misthi and mostly fun. If you can tolerate his idiosyncrasies life with him would be kinda nice and calm. With occasional surprises

71 responses »

  1. Most of them are so true about my bong friends, but i feel you could have made it even funnier. Not that it is not funny right now, but its more witty than funny…

  2. Sunny MIttal And Sourish Pandey(Actually I’m Pandey):Sunny told me that you have written it on basis of characteristics of Sampan and Sambit-all those argumentive,superiority complex,singing talent,so many degrees,love for football.Sunny and I don’t have twitter account but we follow Sampan’s account and he tweeted same things what you have written here.

    The only exceptions:Sampan hates movies(except Satyajit Ray or science related movies or child satires etc that too only in Bengali or English because Bollywood is stupid according to his opinion),he won’t marry and more importantly he won’t cook for any girl.

    But again you are generalizing because as I said earlier those guys were different,special type,you can’t expect all bong guys would win a fight over foreigners.Infact ever since Sampan posted WWE superstars are using same things which he wrote there such as Randy Orton talking about his superior genetics,Sandow talking about ignorance of that buffoon Strategy,HHH talking about taking cares and CM PUNK actually tweeted Sampan once along with Zeb Colter.

    I think his last part of 11th Sept speech”For my dear brothers…” caught the soul of many people here in USA just like Swami Vivekananda did in 1893″To all my sisters and brothers…”

  3. No it’s not funny but real.Even American girls who read that blog are talking about it but no one has got the guts to talk or follow him on twitter.When Sambit posted all Indian girls got very angry but sampan’s post was a medicine on that wounded part.BTW RIK is not an Angrez by heart because he has lots of grudge with whites but Sampan will make you as your friend with his diverse knowledge in different fields,but only extremely smart people can handle him.Stupid stinker who does not know about Beethoven,Beatles,Tesla and his life,Why Alan Turing did not marry has no chance with Sampan.His/her fate will be similar to Indian Strategy…he will dump you.Only rare ones i.e witch/tigress(in terms of intellect) can go with him.

  4. loved Flower Aunt and Flower Uncle the most !! There can be a Naw-Maashi and a Ranga-Kaku as well !! my friend has a collection of both types from both her parents . and loved your puns , specially : Write club over fight club !

  5. I am a hardcore Bong by virtue of being born and brought up in Calcutta (yes, not Kolkata – remember, we are all a little Angrez in heart). Majority of the points mentioned here echoes with me. I particularly take pride in naming our uncles and aunts. Just imagine the gamut of confusion if the system was not there. And definitely, Bongs guys are “little mirchi, a trifle misthi”.

  6. Tobe 1tai kothha bolar achhe: Bong girls fails miserably to cope up with idiosyncrasies of a bong boy. Nijer experience thhekei bolchhi.

  7. Nice read, although it was a bit stretched and kinda exhausting. A lesser number would have made it more fun to read. My favourite was the phool mashi part. I am technically not a bong(though at heart) but have lived in Kol life long so i have quite a few friends who have similar sounding mashis 🙂

  8. I heart your post. Kintu Bangali intellectual maanei Presidency-te adda daye naaki? Jadavpur must have its due!! I met the love of my life @IIT Kharagpur 🙂

  9. I couldn’t help but see bist of my husband in your checklist here – nearly 90% of him except that he doesn’t wear glasses as yet and he isnt from Calcutta…mine has been a pukka love marriage but the ‘getting to know’ each other took place post marriage as we didn’t live together or have an extended courtship ….6 years and an adorable daughter later – i can heave a sigh of relief that YES – I CHOSE WELL 😉 thanks for this one Rimjhim , rock on gal

  10. Eloquently written.I can definitely vouch for them.Hard to miss the subtle hints of sarcasm.
    All the best!!
    Belated Shubho Bijoya

  11. Most may sound like compliments, actually, they aren’t!! 😛

    Great stuff. 😀

    However, you got one point wrong, Hollywood is a disgrace for us (at least on face)… ‘cinema’ not ‘movie’ or ‘film’ has to be European or South American or S E Asian… 😉

    And I’m not too sure on the entire ‘chivalrous’ and similar points either… for better or worse, we’re poetry lovers!!

  12. Being a bong myself who has been raised outside of kolkata(I am from Assam actually), I feel these points are mostly incorrect in my case while maintaining the fact that some of my male friends residing in kolkata fall accurately under the listed points.

    Gud work there!!

  13. Omg thats so true!!!!!! I just got married to a bong boy n he the chweeeeetest n cutest bong boy having many qualities mentioned above. Love ya writer….

  14. exactly a bong guy is far better than a maru or a punjabi guy…. a bong guy is srsly different.. I m telling from my experience only…
    Bong guys rock simply…
    They r heartily soo nice…
    Proud of being a bong girl hpng to find a bong guy nly as my life partner…..

  15. Ms/Mrs. Rimjhim Ray…
    your points are almost common in bongs..i mean a bong living in Kolkata will surely get 1 of those points common.
    hoping that you can communicate in bengali i would say(in bangla): darun likhechen, i mean ami onek blogs podechi , magazine and etc etc kintu apnar ta khub e bhalo.
    Ami medical intern, podchi Maharashtra theke, aar ekhane ek mumbaikar meye amar boner moto. AAr or boyfriend/fiance ek jon bangali..he got me this link.
    Anyways it is really nice n sweet of you for giving the worthy 50 reasons about WHY bong boys like us should be dated..

    NB: my pet name – ‘Babai’!!

  16. eto vodro bangali chhele ektao dekhini… some downsides… he has the tendency to run to his dear MOM for every litl problem he has, ur cooking will never ever stand up to his mom’s cooking acc to his tastebuds, he will smoke cigerettes jz cz uttamkumar does, oftentimes he would be so engrossed in his che guevara and luis bunuel,that he will refuse to be practical, he can beat a cat when it comes to eating machher jhol… and shortly after marriage, he will manifest abdominal obesity and will roam about the house wearing LUNGI and with bare upper body. please dont take it personally, these are just some things i dont find so mesmerizing in bong dudes. otherwise, they rock

  17. I’ve seen a slice of India and now seeing India from abroad. Indians are really amazing. There are hundreds of reasons to hate them but there are millions of reasons to love them too. Loved this sweet article, want more on Pajus, Mallus, Odis, Tams, Gujus and Bhaiyas.

  18. when i finished reading it,i was literally counting how many it did not match! ’cause most of them matched. Though difficult to relate to your own behaviorism but its not just me..all the bong as well as bangla men!

  19. Nearly 2 years have passed.My friend Sampan has become world famous.But he & other Bengali inventors are few special ones.I didn’t find any such smart dude in this forum

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