Single. Not ready to mingle

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Weekends are the best times to be single. Yeah. You have the freedom to do crazy, normal, boring, silly things- no consensus, no guilt pangs. Join a paintball fight, visit an artist’s village, go trekking with a random group or catch up on sleep. Sounds like heaven? Sounds like hell. Ask a single man or woman. The pressures of a perfectly balanced world. Couple dates on weekends. Yash Raj crooning on microphones. Cosy couples on bandstand. Friend with super hot girl friend. Friend with hot dude. Envy. Heart burns. Wallowing in self pity. The entire world conspires against single people. Especially single women. Ever wonder where all the female versions of marriage jokes. There aren’t many. As females, marriage and families have been grilled into our psyches. A hyper macho society makes it worse. What! No man with you? You can’t rent a house. Your neighbours look at you with suspicion. You are endlessly questioned in family functions. Your much married friends give you sorry looks or worse still go on a zealous match making drive. Not accepting that  staying single may be a perfectly happy, sensible choice for some. Because it has taken us 5000 years to not realize that getting hitched is not a function of time. It is a function of finding the right person. That it is not a compulsion. But a choice. You do not hit the panic buttons at 25 that you have not settled down yet. The alarm bells should start ringing if you settled for the wrong guy. Because in a country where marriage traditionally take a lot of toll on women, a bad marriage, a less than right marriage can turn the screws on you. The other day, I was reading  an article on Chinese women and marriage- there the average age of marriage among educated women has crossed 30. Women in Asia are postponing marriage or choosing to remain single rather than trade freedom, happening lives and bright careers for marriage. Yes the right guys with whom you can have all these and a fantastic marriage are a less available breed in the chauvinistic, masculine culture around us. And unless they come along it makes sense to not mingle. Being single in the city could be fun. Don’t let anyone, including the nosy neighbours and the super concerned friends, tell you otherwise.

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7 responses »

  1. does single mean “not in marriage”? or it means not in any kind of relationship? if its the latter then there would be survival threats for the species … if it is only the “marriage” bit, then that may not be too far fetched

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