If only..you had..

Are you leading the ‘If only’ life? How many of times have you wished you had taken the chance, given a chance,  walked out, spoken up, reached out, said no when it mattered, said yes when it could have mattered, moved on, slowed down? Its only one life. One chance. Spot yourself in any of the boxes below? And catch yourself saying What if. What if you had…?

50 Reasons to date a Bong Boy

A number of people have been writing to me asking why I do not speak for the men? Well, why not?. I mean without men, who would fix the pipes and inspire all the beer jokes? Ok enough of my counter chauvinism, there are a lot of reasons that men are great. And because its Durga Pujo time I guess its ok to narrow down a bit and bat for Bong guys in particular. Here are 50 reasons why dating a Bong guy is a swell idea. And now there’s a bonus 51st!

1. How can you not like someone who has such adorable pet names(daknaam) as Golu, Gogol,  Gablu?
2. Man You know your Man U – How can you resist someone who loves something as fatafati as football?
3. Buddy over body – The bong boy is the nice, sweet friend. He will carry your gym bag even if he does not have the gym-toned body
4. He has a Maa who makes awesome food and you will get invited to enough of her home cooked meals
5. He has a Maa who dotes on him so much that you do not have to feel guilty about neglecting him once in a while
6. His relationship with the other maa-the chosmaa is just as endearing
7. He is a little less brawny than the Punjabi boy. A little less wily than the Tams. But he packs in all the goodness in between
8. Write club over fight club – he would not be seen around a fight club but his writing makes up for the lack of fighting
9. He will sing for you – The rare male who has been trained in music and sings in tune
10. His qualifications would cover pages –Chances are he may have more degrees than you can remember
11. He writes better poetry than the average Bollywood lyricist
12. He is snobbish and you would once in a while enjoy turning up your nose with him at the rest of the world
13. He will have a long list of fun relations and they have adorable names such as Phool mama and phool masi(Flower Aunt. Flower uncle)
14. He is extra chivalrous. He wouldn’t let out a cat whistle at the girls
15. Most girls would be his confirmed sisters(This is tricky- listen carefully to the ‘dada’ intonation). You can be both relieved and tensed at this
16. No ugly boxing champ posters on his wall. There may be one Stallone with dreamy eyes
17. He will zealously help you with the homework
18. He has won atleast one debate on ‘Pen is mightier than the sword’ – he debates with a lot of oomph
19. Yes he is the archetypal argumentative Indian. He would have an opinion on everything. And you would love debating with him
20. He loves his fish but does not fish for money- He doesn’t marry a girl for the bank balance, usually!
21. He is the rare metrosexual man – so no hangups about going into the kitchen and putting on the apron
22. The suave Bong is liberated, smart and cosmopolitan. There are the opposite extremes too. So choose wisely
23. He is senti and that can make you mental. Handle him with care but you wouldn’t mind the mush once in a while
24. He drools over all the s’es so even when you are quarrelling, it is musical
25. Pick a bone over break a bone for him. So at the worst you will have slaughtered fishes not broken limbs on his trail
26. He has won atleast one of Bournvita quiz contest, Mastermind etc etc. What a thing to brag about!
27. He hates KBC because it commercializes quizzing. After seeing Sr bacchan hem and haw you agree with him
28. He secretly loves Bollywood though his favourite movies would always be inscrutable Hollywood movies.
29. You can borrow vintage Hollywood DVDs and put them on your CD rack if only to show off
30. He would have a really difficult to pronounce name but you can shorten it to a cool Anglicized one. All Bongs are a little Angrez at heart
31. He would introduce you to the hippie crowd at Park Street
32. And to the bohemian intellectuals of Presidency college
33. His friends would refer to you as boudi even before you have thought about marriage. Irritating yes but kinda sweet too
34. The Bong guy may come across as gentle and harmless but in matters of love he stands up for you
35. A lot of divisions that matter so much in rest of India do not matter much in Calcutta. Here the only classifications are left, lefter, leftest
36. His leftist tendencies could be romantic. The Yogi life isn’t so bad
37. He would prefer Pondicherry to Paris for a holiday and you may end up liking the offbeat choices
38. He wouldn’t bash up your bro, he would logically explain why he is the right guy
39. His once in a year Durga Pujo dress would be dhooti-punjabi. And that is drool worthy!
40. He is terrible at the disc. But his dhunuchi and bisorjon dance rock
41. At some point of time he would have tried his hand at a rock band and he would own atleast one of a guitar, harmonium, table, ektara, tanpura, violin phew!
42. You would discover adda on the rocks and that is the next best thing to happen after Adam and Eve’s time in Eden
43. He would get drunk on Bangla but a drunk bong is more entertainment than menacing
44. Most creative things in this world have been produced by inebriated Bongs
45. He is not looking for a trophy wife. So you can junk the salon routine once in a while
46. He could fly off the handle if you mispronounce that Russian novelist’s name- trust me better than boyfriends who fly off the handle over  messed up Russian salads
47. Your children would get really uncommon names, thanks to his love for the exotic. Never mind that the poor kids would spend a life time getting the spelling right
48. He will get or bake you the most delicious desserts for your birthday. Seriously!
49. While you are just getting saturated with all the sweetness, he would surprise you with the uncharacteristic fury. When you have dared say that the Tams are wiser than the Bongs.
50. He would have a long list of diversions – theatre, books, football. Easier competition than other women!
51. The Bong boy is little mirchi, a trifle misthi and mostly fun. If you can tolerate his idiosyncrasies life with him would be kinda nice and calm. With occasional surprises